Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
