This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
