How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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