Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
