I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
