i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
