I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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