yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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