We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
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