my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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