the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
