so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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