Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
