Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
