I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize