I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
ttyl tear gas
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
