Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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