just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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