I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
