Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize