I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
