Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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