Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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