Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
did i just pee glitter
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize