i don't like sucking hair
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
