420 ftw
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
jump out the window naked night went bad
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
