you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
