brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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