Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
