No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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