she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
