I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
