Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
