Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
