What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
