oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
