i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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