He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think I am morally bankrupt
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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