office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
