This is not my ceiling
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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