break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
