after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
