shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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