i permit you to call me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She even gives head with a lisp.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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