Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
