He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The dick lei will go down in squad history
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
