Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
