He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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