It was confusing and full of hummus
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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