just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
