This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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