This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
