I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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