I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
