you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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