i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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