i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
