they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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