I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
