i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
