hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
