i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
