I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize