As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
