Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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