1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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