Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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