Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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