Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
