okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
