I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
